Forever a Fashionista: Farewell, fashions of 2013


By Maile Sur, staff writer

It’s 2014, and as they say, “Out with the old, in with the new.”

In the fashion world, this means throwing out all the gross trends from the previous year and hoping they don’t show up again in the years to come.

This year, MSN’s “Wonderwall” came up with, by far, the funniest list of all—for two reasons.

One is that half of them were so terrible I couldn’t understand why they were ever popular in the first place.

The second is that the other half happens to be items I own.

It could be a sign that I am currently suffering from a fashion flu. So, while I look for a remedy and contemplate whether or not I should get rid of those items or embrace the fashion foes, I decided to come up with my own list.

Here it is. Fourteen Fashion Foibles to Forget About in ’14:

  1. Cats on anything. I don’t get why designers feel the need to put that furry face on every single piece of clothing or accessory a person can wear. Cats in general just need to go.
  2. High-low dress/skirt or mullet skirt. It shouldn’t be worn as a hairstyle and isn’t working as a clothing item either.
  3. Fake contacts. For those of you who don’t actually need contacts but still wear them, I wonder if, rather than being visually impaired, you’re mentally impaired.
  4.  Flat-forms. I do not understand how anyone in the world could think these were cute… if you have a pair in your closet, please do me a favor and throw them away.
  5. Peplums. Supposedly they do wonders for your hips, but trust me, there are much better options for looking thinner than having to wear this outrageous item.
  6.  Shirts that half the population of America are wearing. It’s not necessarily that I have a problem with the actual item; rather, it’s the fact that I walk outside and see about thirty teenagers wearing the exact same shirt.
  7. Flags on clothing. Why? That crop top and high-waisted shorts showing the flag pockets — not very patriotic.
  8. Thigh-high boots. I love boots, very much. But I think the legal height should be limited to calf-high. Anything higher is just, no.
  9. Studs on florals. Pick a side, people! Either go hardcore edgy, or pretty and chic. Don’t try to mix the two.
  10. Fedoras. Need I say more?
  11. Septum piercings. Let’s leave it to bulls.
  12. Overly ripped jeans. I am all for ripped jeans, don’t get me wrong. But when you’re paying more for holes than actual fabric, it just doesn’t make sense.
  13. Pixie haircuts. Please don’t cut off your beautiful locks.
  14. School girl skirts. Uniforms are called ugly for a reason. Why would anyone want to wear something that hideous outside of school?

Well there you have it, folks, my list of tacky trends that must leave with 2013.

If you have one or more of these items in your closet, I urge you to think deeply about whether or not it’s worth it to keep them there.

Or, I can make the decision for you. Here it is: throw them away. Don’t give them away; we don’t want them circulating throughout the world. They need to be done away with for good — now.

That being said, I hope you have a wonderful, fashion-filled year, and I hope the fashionista inside you leads you to the newest of trends in 2014.

From one year to the next, you’re always a fashionista.