This week my family started a text war and it was not pretty.

You’re going to need a bit of background for this one so here’s a quick overview. My grandma has four siblings; two older brothers and two younger sisters. She has four children, my mom being the eldest. Needless to say, family dynamics are difficult to navigate, but I’ll do my best to give the highlights. I should also say that none of them ever forget anything; all old disputes can/will be brought into the new argument at will.

It all started with my great aunt wanting to visit from the mainland. As a whole this isn’t an issue, but then she said she was coming in a week. There wasn’t much notice, but it still wasn’t the main issue. The problem was that nobody could determine who she would stay with and–as per usual–everyone had their own idea of a safe quarantine space.

This led to a group chat of all my closest relatives–altogether a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad idea–where they debated for a week. None of them bothered to actually call the others and sort everything out until three days in. 

That’s three days of exasperated sighs from my mom, frustrated groans from my grandma, and avoidance of the entire subject from my uncle. To make matters worse my great aunt then brought up the current laws on COVID-19 in Hawaiʻi; which is the easiest way to aggravate anyone in my family.

Everyone was exhausted with the entire debacle by Wednesday, and phones were soon silenced. Even my mom, ever the mediator, was completely drained of any and all energy. The result was a late afternoon run with the dogs at the park and a short workout at home.

Thursday afternoon I was relieved to see that everything had been solved and no intervention had to be planned on my part (I had some seriously awesome speeches in mind).

Here’s the point: Don’t start text wars. It’s no fun for anyone involved and there always seem to be weeks–if not years–of passive aggression on the subject. Instead, how about using the phone to actually make phone calls? And on the flip side of that, when someone calls, how about picking up the phone instead of letting it go to voicemail? 

With a few quick phone calls, this could have all been avoided. Tensions can run pretty high when everyone’s cooped up at home, so think before you text.

When things get heated, if you can and to alleviate the tension, you should work out, go to the beach, or make something fun to relax. You do you.