I’m working on it: Love, hah!


By Amanda Lee, Web Columnist

Last night, my younger sister and I had a very important discussion. We talked about love. We’ve all been there before, with our fleeting crushes, our unrequited love. Love, hah! As if we knew what we were talking about back then.

My first crush happened in the first grade. I had just transferred to Pukalani Elementary School from O’ahu. It was a little nerve-wracking to be starting school in one of those odd years.

Everyone in my class knew each other from kindergarten, and I felt like the odd man out, except for when I was around one special boy.

He had blonde hair and blue eyes, and I remember I couldn’t pronounce half of his last name, but on Valentine’s Day, he drew a rose on my paper for me, and that was all it took–I was in love.

The year came to a close, my blue-eyed crush and I had not said more than a couple of words to each other, and now, we were being put into different classes. We’d never again sit next to each other and draw roses.

In the ensuing years, my “love” and I didn’t spend much time together, none at all really. Eventually thoughts of my crush faded away, and the butterflies that used to flutter in my stomach disappeared.

When I started attending Kamehameha in the sixth grade, I was too swamped with math homework to take a look around and survey the male population.

But by the end of my middle school career, I looked forward to high school because it was going to be all about love. I envisioned finding a boyfriend who would carry my books and drive me home after school. Clearly, too many chick flicks and romance novels had gone to my head. Which brings me back to last night.

We stayed out late as she relayed to me all her crush-y secrets, (I would tell you about them, but since the diary incident, I’velearned not to divulge such precious information.)

As my sister and I talked about crushes, those past and present, I felt as though I was looking at a past version of myself. A version where most of my focus went toward the boy(s) who caught my eye. “Oh, how those days were so silly and simple,” I realized.

Worrying about crushes on boys and the way what you text could be taken, or what a picture means on the internet. All those silly things that I had spent days fretting over, things I had cried over, they all seemed so…pointless now. I was so young.

Growing up will do that to you. Having a younger sister who is going through the same thing you were at her age makes you realize it.

Now, my worries focus on college applications, scholarship applications, senior project, and what the next year will be like. My life is focused on the whirlwind of change that seems to be all-consuming, and EVERYTHING is equally important.

But, you know what? Underneath it all, I have a sneaking suspicion that some day I’ll be looking back at this moment, shaking my head and saying something along the lines of, “Oh, how young and silly I was back then.”